Drama, Drama, Drama

Well as predicted in 2001 when my Grandparents asked us if they could move to Texas with us, the drama has begun!

My mother had planned on funding her retirement with their home in Massachusetts, so after my grandfathers passing in October 2001, when my grandmother decided to sell it, her plans were thwarted. Of course in the world of my mother, it is my fault as is everythng wrong with her life.

Now she has dilusions as to the extent of the estate left behind and has actually contacted an attorney here in San Antonio to sue for her inheritance. Lucky for me, the attorney will not proceed unless a $5,000 retainer is paid and everyone knows my mother never has a pot to piss in.

She's been harassing me for my grandmothers ashes. I don't know why. The last time she saw my grandfather she told him she never wanted to see him again unless it was in his coffin. She hadn't seen her mother since 2000 and when she did bother to speak to her on the phone she spent the whole time yelling at her and insulting her until my grandmother was hysterical and needed to be sedated by her nurse.

My grandmother wished for her ashes to buried in my Grandparents plot on their wedding anniversary June 5, 2009. I don't think Jerry and I are going to be able to make the trip, so in part due to that and secondly to stop the phone call and email harassment by my mother, I am going to forward her ashes and burial instructions to my mother. I hope I am not making a huge mistake.

NEW NEPHEW!!!

Well he's finally made it! My new nephew Logan Ryan came into the world today. He's the first of his generation and unless Greg & Valerie have more, probably the only one!

RIP Nana

Well after 7 years of being with us in Texas, Nana lost her battle with cancer 2 days before Thanksgiving. She was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 years ago. The type of cancer she suffered from was only treatable with surgery. Nana opted to forego surgery due to her tendencies to get Staph Infections after any and every procedure she had done in the past. In 2002 when she had her hip replaced, the infection was so virulent that her hip had to be replaced again a couple of months later in 2003 and she became deathly ill with her kidneys starting to fail.

At the time of her passing, the cancer had metasticized throughout her body. She spent the last 3 days of her life receiving care in a hospice and was kept sedated and never regained consciousness. She died peacefully.

Mama Drama Complete with Lawyers

Well my darling mother in her never ending quest to make her mothers and my lives a living hell contacted lawyers in San Antonio from her home in Maine and told them that my grandmothers life was in danger.

I got a hysterical phone call from my grandmother and her nurse because all tehse people just showed up at her door. To fully understand the gravity of the impact of these actions you would have to know my grandmother. She is in her 80's, does not handle change at all and is a drama queen.

She is monitored 24 hours a day and we pay for private nurses from 7AM-7PM. Between the assisted living rent, the private nurses, her meds, Klondike bars, hair salons and whatever else she asks for her care ranges from $2500-3000 a month. She's had a catheter for over 2 years now with NO urinary infections at all! Yup, I guess my mothers right, we are abusing her.

Forget the fact that my mother hardly ever calls her (once every month or so) and when she visited San Antonio last October she drove over to see her friends almost every night (right down the street from her mother) and never once stopped in to see her mother much less even let her mother know she was in town, I guess she would know if hermother was being abused or neglected.

Girls Night Out (Sounds Too Familiar)

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed...3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos =MIDNIGHT!)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him "Midnight" He didn't seem pissed off at all. Whew! Got away with that one!

Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why?, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh. SHIT", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."

June 4 @ 10 EST/9 CST

Well it's finally here! Set your Tivo's. My little bro will be on the Food Network show "Diners, Drive-ins and Dives" with Guy Frieri on June 4. Everyone tune in so he gets great ratings! Guy has offered him a job at one of his restaurants in California or to help him get on with the Food Network in New York. Yeah!!!

Geesh, I hope he remembers us little people when he becomes famous!

Girls Just Want to Have Fun!!!

Well, got back yesterday from a girls weekend in Port Aransas! We were celebrating the 50th birthday of our friend Patti (the fisherwomen and cute little blonde in Spurs photo) Lots of fun was had by all. GO SPURS GO! Of course stupid me forgot to put sunscreen on my arms, so after 5 hours on the beach and boogie boarding, I am now LOBSTER GIRL! Oh well small price to pay for vegging with the girls at the coast and making new friends.

Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives

Well the time has almost come. A new show is premiering on the Food Network on April 23 at 10 EST/9 CST (PM). My brother will not be on the show that day but will hopefully be on the following Monday or soon after. I am setting my TIVO so I don't miss him.

The show is hosted by Guy Fieri, he won on some other Food Network Reality Show.

WooHoo!

From the Kennebec Journal, Wednesday, April 11, 2007

"...will cook with the show host and prepare three signature dishes: black tea-steamed salmon, mojito glazed duck breast and Greek beef roulade.

He described the last dish: "It's flattened flank stuffed with spinach, artichoke hearts, roasted red peppers and feta cheese," he said. "These are things that I personally liked and have served well."

Gun Salute Question posed by Uncle Larry

Grandpa Lineberry passed away this past week and received a military funeral. After the services, Jerry's Uncle Larry posed the question, "What is the difference between a 21 gun salute and the funeral salute?". Nobody knew the answer (including a not to be named Naval Officer:-), so I decided to look it up and post the answer:


21 Gun SaluteToday the national salute of 21 guns is fired in honor of a national flag, the sovereign or chief of state of a foreign nation, a member of a reigning royal family, and the President, ex-President and President-elect of the United States. It is also fired at noon of the day of the funeral of a President, ex-President, or President-elect.

3 Volley Salute
The 3-volley salute is a salute performed at military and police funerals as part of the drill and ceremony of the Honor Guard.

A rifle party, usually consisting of an odd number of firers, usually from 3 to 7 firearms. Usually the firearms are rifles for military, but at some police funerals, shotguns are used. The firing party is positioned such that, when they shoulder their arms for firing, the muzzles are pointed over the casket of the deceased who is being honored. If the service is being performed inside a church or chapel, or funeral home, the firing party fires from outside the building, typically positioned near the front entrance.

On the command of the NCO-in-charge, the firing party fires their weapons in unison, for a total of three volleys. Because unbulleted blanks (which will not cycle the action of a semi-automatic rifle) are used, in the United States, M1 or M14 rifles are preferred over the current issue M16 rifle, because the charging handles of the M1/M14 are more easily operated in a dignified, ceremonial manner than on the M16.

The three-volley salute is not to be confused with the 21-gun salute (or even lesser gun salutes, such as 19-gun or 17-gun, etc) which use cannon.

You go Baby Bro!!

Well, the first show that my brother did filming for was a pilot that wasn't picked up, but...

Yeah!! Now he is filming a segment for the Food Network. He starts filming on April 10 (my b-day) and wraps shooting on April 13 (his b-day). Happy Birthday to us! I couldn't ask for a better present than seeing my baby brother on the Food Network. He is the Chef at a historic diner on the Kennebec River in Gardiner, Maine. www.a1diner.com Stop in for a bite! He's also mentioned in their new book that has just been published and he is planning his own catering business.

I'll keep you posted on when his segment will air. I think it is going to be on a show that has Diner in the title, but I don't have any specifics yet.