Thursday, March 14, 2013

White Women, Irish Women, Mexican Women, Black Women


WHITE WOMEN

First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.

Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.

Third date:  You get to have sex, but only in the missionary position.

IRISH WOMEN

First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

Monday, March 11, 2013

The Bagpiper


I play at lots of funerals,
This one was for a homeless man.
Bagpipers really like to play,
And I play every chance I can.

The directions I was given
Were poorly done and made me late.
I had missed the poor man’s funeral
When I got to the graveyard gate.