Wednesday, November 28, 2012

A lady walks into a pharmacy ...

A lady walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic.

The pharmacist asks "Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?"

The lady says "To kill my husband."

"I can't sell you any for that reason," says the pharmacist.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

A Blonde at a Football Game

A guy took his *blonde* girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."


Klingon Thanksgiving


Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Buy Avon ONLINE to Support a Single Mom with MS


Angie is a single parent, a veteran and is confined to a wheelchair due to MS (Multiple Sclerosis).  Her MS has gotten to the point where it is difficult for her to even write many days, we help her complete her paperwork for AVON and calculate the receipts, though there aren't a lot being located in the largest and poorest public housing community in the city.

She is an amazing mother and takes advantage of every program we offer for her daughter.  Over the summer she chaperoned an overnight sleep over to the Science Museum, just so her daughter would be able to go.  She never gave it a thought or made a peep about it, even though it meant she would have to spend the night in her wheelchair.

If you ever buy AVON, or are interested in doing so, and do not have a regular representative, please consider buying from Angie's storefront.    


You can pay securely online using Credit Card or Paypal!
No more writing checks to your representative 
and working with their schedule!

Enter the code "FirstRep" and receive
FREE SHIPPING to wherever you want!!!

You can purchase AVON from the website:  www.AVON.com and enter Angela Childs of Virginia as your representative, OR

Click on the Lips to go to 
Angie's Official Avon Storefront here: 





No order is too small and they have wonderful items on sale for stocking stuffers! 






Monday, November 19, 2012

Beer Please



After Great Britain's Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided it would be fun to hit a pub in London and go out for a beer.

The first sits down and says, "Hey, Se? or, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona."
The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

The second says, "I'd like the best beer in the world. Give me 'The King of Beers.' One Budweiser please."
The bartender gives him one.

Another guy says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water; give me a Coors."
The bartender gives him one.

How to use Chopsticks


Saturday, November 17, 2012

Sneaky Old Lady!


A guy shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around.

If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him. She finally overtook him at the checkout, turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much like my late son." He answered, "That's okay." "I know it's silly, but if you'd call out "Good bye, Mom" as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy."

How to get a promotion


People who do lots of work... 
make lots of mistakes 

People who do less work... 
make less mistakes 

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Puns for Educated Minds

 

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.