CUPID, Cert. PHT 
Certified Professional Human Trainer  
For only $19.95, I will train your human to perform the following basic obedience commands: 
Take you for a walk
Rub your belly
Pick up your poop
Wipe your feet
Speak baby talk
Throw the ball
Not to hog the bed
Give you a kiss
Buy you a toy
Rub your belly
Pick up your poop
Wipe your feet
Speak baby talk
Throw the ball
Not to hog the bed
Give you a kiss
Buy you a toy
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The first 100 callers will also have their humans taught to
FETCH THEM A TREAT!
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